why is everyone enjoying school except me? ):
sigh sigh. so many thoughts are flooding my head right now i dont know where to start. well, firstly, im rather troubled by some issue and it's so hard to talk to you about it. sigh, out of a sudden, there seem to be no one there to listen, just no one there anymore.
as tears roll down my cheeks while im typing this, well, maybe i just dont mean a thing. after all these while, yes, maybe i just dont mean a thing.
frm gen's blog: "life is a sad affair" - yes i agree. ):
frm eileen's blog: "Some days you get the bear, other days the bear gets you." - if im not wrong, the bear is chewing me up right now. in to many many non-existing little pieces.
frm facebook: "If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care? If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come? If I had one day left, to live my life; would you be part of that last day? If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?"

maybe a good cry would do good.























maybe we should talk.
but it's hard to start. very. went back to crecsent today. totally didnt want to leave. haha it was so nostalgic (sp?). haiya, i miss crescent so badly. had to go to a great extent just to get the stupid green slip. hahaha. faked a puking attack and bad stomach ache before i could get out of sch. sigh. really wanted to pon sch today one, if not for the council shoebox thing. ): anyhows, went with lois to borders, before meeting pokpok and eddy and mich and going to crescent together. gosh. i miss everyone so much! esp pokpok and eddy! ): so long never see them alrdy. haha. if you're reading this, please take care alrights! very worried for your. well, seems like jc isnt turning out very well for most of us. ):

well, it had been so long since i laughed so hard. but enterprise never fails to make me laugh like a mad person. sec1 interview today, the sec1s are like super funny when they promote stuff lah! esp this girl who totally promoted the umbrella as a spider, and this another one which said the umbrella can prevent against lion attack or smth like that. so funny!!! but the best part would obviously be catching up with all my darlings. hehe. it's been so long since we last stepped into the millenium clasrm. and i was so shocked to see cass and germaise and ms lin as well! hehe. had a great chat man. really really didnt feel like leaving. ):

met dee for dinner aft that. whoa, it'd been like how many eons since i last went out with her! hahahaa. went to budgeted food republic for dinner, but stayed there super long, cuz all we wanted was some place to sit and talk. hahahaha never expected the convo to kick off frm where we last left it, but it was great fun lah! i miss my dearies so much. ):

og outing on wed aft cross country. hahaha cross country was stupid. it was at east coast can, and when it started, everyone just walked only know! no one gave a damn bout running. so everyone just walk walk. so funny. so unlike crescent. og outing was at carl's jr. and after that met up with the class to go ice skating. gosh. first time ice skating, and i think i nearly died. quite fun lah, but so tiring!! ):

anyhows, thanks limin so much for the box of stuff! i'll upload the pics soon. hahaha. sigh. i miss crescent. and all my dear pals! stay strong alrights (: a few more weeks, and we can all get out of this horrid place. haha. sometimes i just feel so unappreciated.
sometimes i just feel so lost and alone.
sometimes i just feel like no one's listening.
sometimes i just feel that life is so pointless.














sometimes i just feel so invisible





"No matter what" - Boyzone

No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know I'll love forever
I know, no matter what

If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered
Then we would hear God say

No matter what they tell you
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach you
What you believe is true

And I will keep you safe and strong
And sheltered from the storm
No matter where it's barren
A dream is being born

No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don't shine
Or if the skies are blue
No matter what the end is
My life began with you

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know, I know
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now



-i wish for such a person to do such a thing for me. no mood to blog about saturday now. maybe i'll do it another time. soon i promise. and about this week at sch or smth.



it hurts to see you hurt.
should i? should i not? should i? should i not? x1000
what's the point of existence?
pointless. hello everyone! the new year started off well, with a countdown session on msn with 5 very special people this year. stupid, my mum didnt want to bring me for the fireworks, and my dad make noise. so in the end, had to stay at home and rot online. but surprisingly, this huge convo which i totally didnt expect started, and the people i didnt expect to see online, came online! haha and the best part, my house can see the fireworks. (: so glad i rotted the midnight away at home, although i had to endure the hideous view of jade seah wearing so little clothes and showing off her fats and super fair skin on tv. haiz.

and school started the next day! haha. sajc og05! (: okay, i can say we weren't exactly the most enthu group around on day one, since we didnt really know each other yet, and i was rather sad that my jc life was so boring and the people were quite antisocial and all. basically day one was nothing much, just plentiful talks for like 3 and a half hrs, about subject combi and all, and lby talking about her switzerland trip blah blah blah. and after that was just some the hunt and mass dance and mass games. gosh. that day i totally felt like ponning day 2, cause it was so boring and all. and it didnt help that the people in my og were rather dead!

but day two was totally very different. okay not really. still the usual cheers, and dance, and talks introducing the mentors, council, registration of subject combi, and stage games and all. hahaha but what was different was the flood. sajc's orientation had a theme lah, called "lost". about these 3 tribes stranded on an island or smth. and everyday there will be a starting skit about the survivors, and an ending one that is forever to be continued. haha. so the 3 days were kind of like us being the survivors in the tribes, going to look for resources blah blah blah through the games. and on the 2nd day there was this principal meet christian thingy. i can say i was rather traumatised by what i saw but yeah i shall not mention anything here.

oohooh and did i add that on the first day, me and gen went to try out this ki test. haha for fun really. the question was really chim, about the arts, and how its supposed to make a person more cultured and more humane. but hitler's ss officers were all actually very well steeped in the arts, but yet they killed so many people and all, so therefore arts doesnt make a person more humane. and the question was omg killer. it was like "do you agree with this assesment of the function of the arts?" seriously i was like HUH. and in the end, just anyhow whack and simplify it to "do you agree". hahaha. and i got in! crap.

friday was the cool day. stage games were really really very fun. as in just sitting down there and cheering the representatives from the tribes on and laughing at all the stupid things they do on stage, very fun already. tiffany was awarded the "longest breath" award in the "saintlympics" haha and my whole og was practually teasing her about it. guess what. other jcs go on amazing race round singapore, sa goes to potong pasir area to collect old newspp and clothing. wth. and my group cleared 4 blocks in 10min, that we just decided to go kfc and eat and rot and bond a bit. okay lah, we got more bonded and all. and i totally skipped the finale with natalie to go back for crescent campfire!

despite being so freakin late with pokpok for the campfire, and for me chipping my nails so many times, and our food being cold when we were eating it, and my voice about to die, i totally do not regret missing sa finale for crescent at all! gosh. i love cresescent SO MUCH. it just feels so at home, though i wasnt a sec1 participating in it. and had a very very fun bit of screaming non stop and jumping up and down with eddy and yuexi, and acting like such kukus, cheering when the rest hasve already stopped, only to receive stares. hahaha. catched up with so many people, and found out that their orientation was so much more fun than sa. sigh, i think sa orientation a bit too protected alrdy. and my og is such a ponner og. like only 6 out of 17 people went for the finale, and even the maths lesson on monday, only like 7 people attended. hahaha. they love to go home at any chance they have.

today supposed to be splitted up into civics classes, but i guess for arts fac, since we are all frm the siersha tribe and romanis house and all, we all just continued sticking to out ogs. lectures are the most boring things on earth. i cant believe we actually start having proper lectures on the 4th day of sch, like wth. and tmr i'll be receiving my proper timetable, which is of effect from tmr. sigh sigh. pe lessons, chinese lessons and all. irritating man. :( and to think i thought 1st three months were play. sigh, im kindda depressed now. cuz it's like i really dont know anyone from my civics class, apart from priscilla which i met from ki just now and i only know that she's frm st nicks. and my og seems bonded, yet not bonded. haiz. seriously starting to think that school is pointless. as in what's the point of locking us up in the cc and listening to the introduction of the subject man! ): btw, my ki teacher is rather gay but im really enjoying the subject, except that it's very challenging. and i got my first assignment of like "is there any good reason why anyone should believe in horoscopes" wth. sch is such a waste of time. hahaha. and when i was back in crescent, everyday was so interesting. it was like after sch was i&e and all. and during the olvl time, it was study buddy study sessions, either that or consultations blah blah. but now, it's like there's nothing to do after school! hahaha.

super sian after sch today man. me and lucy went to meet the games gang for our long awaited games gang outing. woots! i love the games gang. they are all so chao tar please. but still, we still had a fair bit of craziness and all. (: it so feels like the good old days. when shuyi sends me the pics, i'll upload them up. haha. so sad yasmin couldnt make it. ): but if she could, we will be able to have sa vs ac challenge alrdy. lois me and yasmin from sa, adelicia shuyi michy from ac. haha. anw, im so programme-less these days. dunno what im wasting my time doing man.

well, for the more interesting part of my life, saturday and sunday had been a blast. esp saturday. okay i'll update more tmr. (: im damn scared for jc tmr. help! :(
what if got no friends? what if i get lost? what if what if. so many what ifs. sigh sigh sigh. think crescent is gonna be very different from now on. new principal and all. so many good teachers leaving, i hope crescent wont die.

anw, on a lighter note, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! (: 2008 is here. 2007's gone. but im glad it'd been a blast. (: from the start of the year with the cool cool campfire and dedication ceremony, the last cca open house as a crescentian, the failed opening of chill for i&e and all. january just flew past so quickly.

february came next with not many surprises awaiting me. the usual tests, remedial, and some stupid physics mastery. gosh. i knew that things we going to be quite stressed. and then came valentines day, the donut saga where some of us went to queue for like 5h, enterprise outing at swensens, 4g2 really bonding through the bday celebrations, yusheng tossing during cny celebration, the o'village treat for dv campus success and all, february wasn't that bad either.

and there came march. all the common tests which i failed all the maths and sciences, enterprise trainings with mr christian chua, cable car presentations, council invest and official stepdown in council, i&e much delayed stepdown and the start of night study sessions. sigh.

april was quite a blast too. kicking it off was free cone day at ben and jerry's, followed my the whole holy week masses and much time spent with the rciy pals, consultations after consultations, and phantom of the opera showing in singapore! all seemed so yesterday huh.

may was the very very hectic month, with the mid years pilling things up my neck. haha i realised how shitty my grades were. enterprise outing at riverside restaurant. the study buddy gang was formed. chinese intensive practically took up the whole of may, but i throughly enjoyed it. i'll give up anything for chinese intensive again. (: and then came the official chinese o'levels.

june. holidays weren't really holidays this time round. we were told to make use of the time we have to catch up on whatever we didnt know, but apparently, im quite bad at following instructions. :P ahyi flew back from china, 4g2 had a bbq at ms goh's condo, many many holiday lessons which took up like 2 week of the hols, many stayovers at my grandma's house, first baking session at yuexi's house and the im gifted workshop. sigh, those were the days.

july. time for chinese o's oral and listening. mock tests finally started, they were much worse than expected. but im so glad i survived through them all. i&e competitions like cando and nec wasnt really our business now, but we still went to support, help them through it all. glad it was such a once-in-a-lifetime experience. (: harry potter's last book came out. the whole madness to read finish the book in 1 day started all over again. speech day rehersals, speech day. haha i was reminising so much about speech day '06 then. the duties as a councillor were really really fun. but now, it's just receiving the colours award on stage. not much kick, but still v enjoyable.

august, very very much hectic. filled with consultations after consultations, so glad every one of them helped in some way or another. thank you all teachers who dedicated so much time and effort to help this poor gal here. national day celebration was the bomb. 4g2 fored this ring, and we practically went mad. english summary started. we had english o'lvl oral and then, there came PRELIMS.

september and october was very much the same. apart from the mass dance that the class had to put up together, it was just go sch, stay back consultation, study with study buddy, go home, mug somemore. haha and yes, go out to destress every friday, ponning night studies very very much. then there was champion seminar, and this class duty thing which was just implemented. haha quite stupid. but fun in a way. and then, OLEVELS arrived. the rushing of autograph bks to be written was not to be missed as well.

november and december, much covered in the previous posts. haha lazy.

and besides, i have to wake up at 6am tmr! when was the last time i woke up at 6am man! :(
very thankful for 07. hope 08 is wonderful too! and in case ur wondering how i can remember all these, it's all thanks to the sesame street organiser, which was my pal throughout the whole of this year. say bye to sesame street, and hello to looney tunes 08. :D